So I’m a little be lazy and blogging on uneventful events, seems boring, to add some more boredom to my life and have other people suffer from experiencing reading my boredom seems silly.
I’m only doing this one now because I’m not really feeling sleep.
There are only a few things I can put in this that aren’t going to college, rugby, work, driving or my grandparents.
But, it’s more that usual, which is a plus…
So I’ll crack on then…
So I did some driving on the Thursday after I last blogged, I learnt how to steer and stuff which, you know, always a bonus when controlling a car. I’m okay at that. My instructor said I’m better with clutch control and the pedals than I am with steering. I get confused with turning because, I don’t know really, it confuses me, I thought it was to do with me being left handed, but my right turning is a lot stronger, but then I do a lot with both hands…
I’m ambidextrous, that’s a little fact for you.
My left hand is stronger, but if my life depended on it, I could write with my right.
On that Saturday I went to see Char after work, which was the first time I’d seen her in a while. It was a nice night with her, having a big old chat, we can chat for so long, it’s nice. But I left her in a really good mood, which was nice.
It was half term for that week, so on the Monday, I went and stayed with Nikki, she was out of it on painkillers for a lot of the time, but it was literally nice to be away from my home, and not have to constantly watch what I say in response to something in a conversation.
I stayed there til Wednesday meaning I didn’t have pancakes on pancake day, (or see my grandparents that Tuesday) because I didn’t trust myself cooking in someone else’s home, or trust Nikki with hot kitchen equipment when she was high.
I then went driving on Thursday and did some more steering and ended up being fab, a little bit…
On the Saturday after work I had my grandparents round for dinner and my stepdad came round, as it was his birthday. It was a really nice night, it was the first time I can properly remember we’ve all been together and I’ve not been the reason for an argument, I’ve not gotten annoyed with my stepdad, and I’ve enjoyed spending time with all of my family all together, at once, for a fairly long period of time.
My grandparents are pretty much all I live for.
On the Sunday, I’d arranged a gig for my friend Leigh at the Fleece. I’d asked Emily and Alicia to come along with me, and my stepdad, because he’d said he would be annoyed if I got him anything for his birthday, but he enjoyed seeing my friend’s/their bands play, so it was a good idea, I thought. Mel enjoyed Leigh’s set, and stayed as long is physically possible at an acoustic all dayer (only so much acoustic music a person can take), and me, Emily and Alicia ended up making a day of it.
Emily hadn’t experienced so many random things, that I’ve grown up seeing as normal to have experienced, one of these was a recent thing, but frozen yoghurt… so we went to ‘Angel Berry’, which was quite fun, everyone loves some frozen yoghurt!
I realised that day especially, I’ve met a couple of genuine people. I think when you actually see people outside of college or whatever, it means theyre actual friends, and if you can talk to them about anything and everything other than just the subject you have with them they’re true friends. That is something I can do so easily with them both.
It was back to college last Monday, as it was the end of half term. I hadn’t made the most of my half term really, I just rested more than a human should and worked in every spare bit of time I could, so I have money for driving and life and such.
That evening, as one of Sophie’s Christmas presents, we went to see our friend’s band Goodnight Lois - I haven’t mentioned or seen them for so long, so it was really nice to see them again, and hear their new stuff and see how well they’re doing and everything.
It was also, of course, lovely to see Sophie as we don’t see each other often at all now, but I am genuinely glad we do still keep in touch and even if it is only every couple of months we properly see each other, it’s better than not at all for me, and I know she’ll always be there as a friend.
However on the Tuesday I woke up with a cold, that developed to Laryngitis, once again just not as hard-core, a dodgy sinus thing, and a weird fluey type thing, meaning I was off college until today, and couldn’t go driving, or see my grandparents.
I braved Rugby though, which I regret, we won, that was a bonus, and I also went to work, partly because I was scared to ring in sick…
But that’s literally it…
Not much else has happened.
I’ve arranged the Music Fights Cancer even for 2013 though!! which is really exciting, I’m really pleased with the line up, and there’s still room for another act which the headline is bringing! - you should check it out www.facebook.com/mfcancer then follow the link to the even :-)
There isn’t really much else to report…
I can’t stop singing the Dolphin song by Ellie Goulding.
That obviously isn’t it’s real name, but we all know the one I mean!
I’m really stressed, I’m going through my yearly breakdown, but it’s funny this year, because the friends I’ve made at college have been helpful and tried to make it amusing for me, which has actually helped, and they’ve told me to relax for a change, instead of telling me that if I don’t do work it’ll be my own fault if I fail, which I have heard a few times before. Char has also decided she’s going to worry about me because I don’t do that for myself, which I’ll admit I don’t, other are people are more worth worrying about, because they’re what usually keep slightly sane.
After my busy week filled with B I literally haven’t done much other than work a lot more than I probably should be, and revise, I’ve realised I can’t fit in seeing friends like Char and Jess, because I’ll worry that haven’t revised which is silly, but I’ve not seen them properly for ages because of it.
My Dad was still down from Ireland so last Tuesday I had to see him again. I think one of my grandparents told him to not drink, or at least not as much as he had the previous week, because he was actually okay to be around, which confuses me because I don’t want to like him, because other than him being a bit funny and kind of nice when he’s sober he’s not worth my time, because he has never done anything for me and the £25 at birthdays and Christmases, now that I’m nearly an adult will never make up for the years of love that I never received from him. So with that money I always waste it, I buy something that I usually wouldn’t justify buying for £25 if I had it, or I make it meaningless money that will pay to get me to work or something, I refuse to use it as something that will remind me is a present from him, because I just think he’s a selfish, sad old man.
I really want to say all of that to him, but I can’t because I’m too nice to him when I see him, like even now writing it I know someone will pull me up on it and say I should be more forgiving and blah blah, and momentarily I’ll feel guilty, but unless you’ve experienced Trevor, you don’t even know what it’s like. He’s an idiot.
Anyway, that was pretty much all did in the week other than work, until Friday. Friday was a horrible day, but also amazing. It was one of those days where you wake up and think, yeah I just shouldn’t get up today, and I shouldn’t have, it was all little things like I dropped my glove in a puddle, and I lost my umbrella and locked myself out of my house and stuff, but it all just makes you think that fate is trying to tell you something. On a Friday Wasmina is usually my only motivation for getting up. She’s the only thing that keeps me going to Abbeywood. I hate that place so much.
But my day got better around 11 when I saw George, because I only see him like once a week now or something like that, so even though we go through stages of speaking and then just not speaking at all I do love George, so it was good to see him.
When I got to college I remembered I had Rugby that evening, which meant I got to see Pip. That instantly brightened my mood and I was just happy then. It was a really good night; it was just really silly and funny.
Saturday before work, I decided to start re-reading the Twilight saga. So I was nearly late for work because I’d lost track of time. I’ve not read for myself for personal enjoyment for months, I’ve not properly been able to since Dawn died, I try and avoid all things that would make me think since then, and even when I’d be sucked into a book random thoughts come back to me, the same with playing my guitar, I’ve tried but I still get no joy from playing that anymore, I just can’t be bothered. It’s one of the reasons that I try and avoid sleep, so I’ve gotten into a weird sleep routine.
I told Char about this, because part of me wanted someone to agree, but when I was reading Twilight and reading the kind of person Stephanie Meyer makes Bella seem it reminds me of me, and some of the stuff she does, reminds me of me. People have told me I look like Kristen Stewart, as does my sister and I used to really hate it, I don’t know why but it did used to really bug me, now I love it, I’m happy to look like her because I wish I was Bella now 95% of the time.
This week I wrote my friend Sophie a letter, I got a bit annoyed with myself, because it had taken me so long to write it, but there was nothing really to say until after we’d been to Birmingham, but I’ve realised now she is one of the only people now that isn’t really a sheep. I think that’s why I picked the lyric I did to title this blog, because it links in perfectly, all the friends I’ve got now aren’t pretending about anything, or pretending to be who they aren’t to fit it or impress a boy. No one sugar coats anything or hides their opinion from each other and I wish my life has been like this sooner, it’s just simple and easy, and real. Everything happens for a reason and everything that has happened has made me stronger and happier. Even though sometimes I feel insecure still, I don’t think I’ve been this comfortable overall with the person I am, I will probably always wish I was someone else, whether that be a character from a book, Taylor Momsen, Rachel McAdams, Emma, Wasmina, my Grandma, Dawn, or anyone if I have to be stuck with just being Sarah I’d rather be this version of me. I feel lonely a lot of the time, but I’ve never had this many genuine and lovely people around me. For the first time I’m kind of feeling excited about the rest of my life.
I’ve also realised I hate the sunshine but love the warmth. If night could be day with the humidity of Egypt, I’d love life. I just don’t enjoy sunlight much cos people can see me…
Well, it’s time to waffle on about my uneventful life.
I didn’t bother blogging last week, cos… Yeah I can’t remember. I got distracted by Lady Gaga or fell asleep or something probably.
The week before that, I had rugby on the Friday night so I lost all ability to carry out my normal routine. I get so confused having rugby on a Friday, cos it feels like a Sunday and it’s just weird.
So, I’ll start from the Monday of like 2 weeks ago…
That weekend my sister B came down, so I literally spent most of my week with her, it was so so nice.
On the Monday we went to Costa for a catch up and stuff, which was nice before college, except then I felt all lonely after.
I hate saying bye to B, I always feel like I’ve left a part of me behind.
On the Tuesday it was Grandma day as usual, I can’t remember if anything exciting happened because my brain doesn’t remember things that well… I’m only human unfortunately.
Wednesday I had to work, and I framed some of my artwork to put in the shop, which was quite exciting (so if you go in to Hobbycraft Bristol go down to framing, and look up at clip framing, BAM. My art work).
Thursday I saw B again, we had such a lovely day, we had a wonder round the mall, then went to Pizza Hut and people watched and had a nice big chat and aw, and then we went to watch Brave. It was actually a really good film. I originally only wanted to see it because it was all Scottish. I think I’ve explained a million blogs ago about me and B pretending to be Scottish and that my Scottish accent is fab…? But anyway it was a really good film, and I want to turn my mum into a bear, just to see what it would be like… (I’m joking; I’d have a wee break down)
Friday was the day I got confused and had Rugby, we lost again (if i remember correctly) even though earlier than evening I rushed into town to get a new rugby hat because we all believed my other one was jinxed, puh! Clearly we’re just not doing very well.
After that I stayed at B’s, we had nibbles and watched Music and Lyrics, and I had such a nice sleep, as I usually do at her dad’s house. But then I started work at 10 on the Saturday. That Saturday was our refit launch day thing, so I’ve started wearing my silly new uniform with an apron and ugh, I don’t like it, the apron gets all everywhere and ugh I feel confined and like I work in B&Q.
I worked all day on the Sunday too. I miss my weekends.
The next week, I can’t remember anything exciting happening, which is quite depressing, because I can usually remember like something funny happening but I don’t even really get that now. Such a loner hahahah.
However on the Friday, I finally had a long awaited catch up with Char. I hadn’t seen her for like 2 weeks or something stupid, so I went home with her after college, then we went to Costa, had a catch up and then went and spent the evening at George’s. That was quite nice because it was the first time like going out to be sociable other than rugby for quite a while.
That weekend I worked on the Saturday and on the Sunday spent the day shopping and stuff with my mum. It was the first time I had out with her for a while, and it was really nice to do stuff with her.
That week I’d gone through my yearly ‘omg, I can’t do anything, I’m panicking cos I’m shit at life and I’m gonna fail cos I’m fatalistic and ugh emoemoemo’ week.
I’m glad I got it out the way early this year, because now Amanda knows I panic loads, and Sociology is pretty much the only thing I have in life that I want and now Law too.
So yeah, that’s that bit done with.
This week, Monday I went into town cos my mum wanted a few bits and ended up spending money, and I hate doing that cos I always feel I’m wasting money and I should be like, I don’t know saving it for my great grandkids or something.
Like it’s not like I have to pay for anything other than driving lessons, so there’s no need for me to worry about money or how much I have, but like it can keep me awake at night. I’m gonna be nightmare when I have to pay for a house and all that jazz…
Tuesday was as usual Grandparents day.
We’re planning a holiday, which was my mum’s idea, for next year for my Gran’s 80th and my grandparents’ 60th anniversary.
It should be me, my mum, Emma, B, Gran and Grandad, B’s Dad, and his wife Sue, and possibly my godfather Impy. It’s going to be so good, I literally cannot wait.
Wednesday, I did nothing.
Thursday, I worked.
Friday, I did nothing.
I’ve been feeling really alone the past couple of days, like having no friends doesn’t bother be 98% of the time, but there’s those times where you just want to have contact with some humans, like I always feel like no one cares at all.
My lack of motivation to do stuff is getting so much harder to beat, like to the point that I can’t even be bothered with Music Fights Cancer anymore, I’ve stopped seeing the point in literally everything other than Noel Fielding, nail varnish and Grease. I don’t know… Hmm.
Anyway tomorrow, I’m working, then it’s Pip’s 18th party. I haven’t seen her for a couple of weeks now, so it should be very nice to see her.
It’s also Josh’s birthday and B’s birthday tomorrow, yay! I love other people’s birthdays, so so much. Like just buying them presents or sending them a card just makes me so happy ahaha.
Well that’s that.
(God knows who I’m calling a loser, cos if you actually read my blogs I love you)
Wahey, look at me blogging on a weekly basis again!
It took me a while to decide what to title this blog, because I wanted it to relate to how I’ve felt a lot recently.
Although I’ve been really happy overall, as usual I just let stupid little things get to me. Like I’m pretty certain I’m gonna have to start blocking loads of people on twitter because it gets me down, but then I feel really harsh, and then the fact I feel harsh over like nothing gets me down.
It’s just a vicious cycle really.
My weeks are pretty uneventful now to be honest, well not that they’ve been really eventful recently, but at the weekend I worked a massive amount and got really stressed out because of work because one of my shifts was awful. Like I have gotten to the point now where I would rather go back to having no money and not being able to do anything again, or afford to learn to drive etc. than I would go in to work sometimes. I don’t feel I should have to dread going in to work. I know retail isn’t all rosy and fun, but it shouldn’t be that bad, surely?
If I had a shift where I left feeling really pleased with how I was treated and how I worked more than once every couple of weeks that would be brilliant, because I do actually like my job when the right manager is in…
That’s my rant about work done with.
On Sunday, after starting work at the crack of dawn it was time to go to Rugby.
Bristol played Cornish Pirates on Sunday and we won 29 -17.
I usually hate Pirates, for really pointless reasons like their fans are annoying and one of the players had really long hair and always got it ripped out and stuff. But one of our old players that Pip’s family (my other family…) used to sponsor - Darren Barry, now plays for Pirates. Honestly, seeing Darren actually get played for once instead of being a little bench warmer was actually a really proud moment for me. I miss Darren so much, we always used to ask him really pointless, random questions, but he is just a genuinely lovely bloke and he deserves to get played!
My week, from what I can remember was completely uneventful until Tuesday.
I went to my Grandma’s as usual and my sister Paula and her kids were back from Australia. I’ve not seen them in a month because they went camping for a week, then Australia for 3 weeks. I didn’t realise how much I’d missed my nieces and nephew until they all came in and screamed at me and jumped on me.
That day I had a massive chat with one of my sociology teachers, Anna. It was so lovely, I didn’t realise how much of an impact I’ve made on the lives of my nieces and nephews until I’d had that conversation. In fact, it finally made me realise what impact I’ve had on so many people’s lives in a good way. I love it when people understand me and how I think and how I am and stuff, because it makes me feel less alone in the world. She reminded me a lot of Nikki and as I’ve mentioned before Nikki is one of my favourite people ever.
Thursday I went to work, and it was one of those good shifts, which brightened my day a bit. Afterwards I spoke to my sister B. I haven’t had a phone call with her in so long, and it was nice just to hear her voice.
This week I’ve wanted to be exactly how she was with me when Dawn died, I’ve wanted to be the big sister this time and make her feel that she has someone she can come to any time of the day, and know I have all the time for her that I can possibly give.
Today has been a weird day; my mood has been so up and down and just weird. I don’t even know why.
I really just want a whole 24 hours where I can stay in and do literally nothing other than read, watch telly, wee, and eat.
That would be fantastic.
I discovered today that I’m one of those annoying people that don’t fit in in normal society. I’m that bitter, dark person that hates everything. My opinions are so strong and how I say stuff it comes across really horrible. I met a Radical Feminist today (she’s in my sociology class, it wasn’t just a random meeting…), and apologies to anyone who may follow feminist views/ideas but I hate it. Feminism is a silly sociological perspective, we are past that era. What rights are there that women don’t have but still need? That is just my personal opinion, but they are so extreme, and ugh. I just really don’t like them. They make a big deal over something that is not a big deal nowadays.
Anyway, I think I really upset this girl, but her argument was going nowhere, made no sense and was illogical. She put me in a bad mood.
My day has been completely brightened though by Emma. Not my sister, as in Josh’s girlfriend… So my best friend-in-law.
She’s really easy to talk to and in such a short amount of time I’ve gotten to know her and would class her as a friend. She’s so genuine and lovely and is just lovely and ahhhh I love Emma.
I have like nothing planned this weekend.
Well that’s a lie, I’m going to ZaZa Bazaar after work for my mum’s leaving meal because of her shipping out to Newport for her new job, and I’ve never been there so that should be good!
That’s that really…
I’m also super excited about Josh’s/Emma’s birthday present, because it is fantastic and he’s going to sob like a little girl (probably not, but I like to think he would).
This is a really long blog for just one week.
I’m in such a good mood.
Since I last blogged, I’ve started college and I’m so happy there. I’m so happy that I finally made a good decision for myself for a change, and it’s benefitted me.
A massive part of me wishes I’d done it last year, but then there’s some good things that have happened and a few good people I’ve met, and I don’t regret that.
Being somewhere new is exactly what I hoped it would be. Not having people that properly know me or would really call me a friend is so relaxing. I am enjoying the peace.
What was also quite nice was on my first lesson there I realised my friend Dan has also transferred, so I have a lesson with him and it’s nice to see him as he is one of the few people I don’t regret meeting.
But in general college is 1000 times better than sixth form.
Last Wednesday I also saw Hannah for the first time in a little while, which was lovely. I had such a nice evening with her and her family (my future in-laws when Emma marries Dan..) so it was quite nice to be away from my empty motherless house.
On the Thursday mummy got home! It was such a relief to have her back and I could have stayed up all night talking to her about how my week was and how her holiday was and just generally talking to her.
Overall, that week wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, me and my sister got on really well, and we still are now, and I love it when she’s not being horrible to me, because she’s one of the best people ever.
On Saturday me, my mum, sister and her friend Sophie all went to Twickenham to see Lady Gaga.
Every year my mum buys me and my sister a ticket to see someone and every year the 3 of us do that. Sophie coming with us was nice though - I really like Sophie, she’s amazing.
Gaga was amazing. I truly admire her, she seems such a genuine person and seems so grateful for how far she’s come and she seems to truly care for her fans. I think the fact that she literally does not care what people think about her is amazing.
She’s a truly inspiring woman and made me so emotional that night, she said something along the lines of ‘Why do you give a fuck what people think of you? Why should anyone give a fuck what anyone thinks of you other than you? Why let someone’s pointless opinions not let you, be you?’ and I thought someone that can say that and actually follow what she believes is fantastic. She has so much confidence, especially in herself and what she believes, which is just lovely to see really. She’s a truly talented woman and deserves all the success she’s got.
That night I also got to see The Darkness. That was amazing for me because when I was younger they were like my life. It was so worth waiting all those years to see them because they were really good live. I don’t care if people think they’re rubbish - I like The Darkness and Justin Hawkins now looks like a pirate!
Being at Twickenham Stadium was also a highlight. I don’t know why it made me so happy, because I wasn’t watching Rugby, but being at a Rugby Stadium made me feel so happy, and especially one as significant as Twickenham.
All in all, an amazing day.
On the Monday it was back to college, and I had my first Law lesson, and straight away fell in love with it. Living with 2 people studying Law and listening to them waffle on I must have picked up some stuff. I’ve found that it’s like what Sociology is like for me, it’s something I enjoy and interests me and makes me actually look forward to going in to learn (that didn’t sound as sad in my head).
After being proud of my results and knowing I can actually do it if i believe makes me feel so much more motivated, I feel like I’m starting to believe I can do well.
On Monday I also spoke to Josh for like an hour about seriously pointless things generally, but I love him so much he’s fantastic. He accepts my weird obsessions and thoughts and described me in one sentence by saying ‘I never know what you’re talking about, you start a sentence to do with nothing and seem to make up words to go in the sentence as you go along’ and I thought it described me so well and I’ve noticed that I do that so much.
Nothing else that is particularly exciting has happened, except today - my really good day today.
I’ve such a good day for numerous reasons.
The big one is - I got my braces of today! So I’m really happy about having teeth.
Another one is - I spent all morning with my Grandparents.
Oh I didn’t mention, it was their 59th wedding anniversary on Wednesday… How cute is that?! … And my Gran is now 79! asdfghjkl, I love them.
Another reason is seeing Char, she brightens everything, and she’s amazing and seeing her really happy makes me really happy.
happy, happy, happy.
And the final thing that made me really happy was on my way home from college a kid that goes to my college started a random conversation with me.
People that randomly talk to me and seem to show random interest in a random conversation are such wonderful people. It honestly brightened my day because it was such a surprise.
I’ve experienced a lot of random conversation from random people recently, and I love it.
So yeah, I’m feeling very cheery and it’s such a good feeling.
blog blog blog blog blog blog blog blog, hi.
I need to think of witty opening lines… That won’t happen.
Well, I’m gonna write some more about the final couple of weeks of my uneventful summer.
I’ve been to work many times, worky work work.
Rugby season has started! There was the pre-season game against Clifton - of course we won. Then the first home game against Newcastle… We lost. So my mission now is to buy a new rugby hat. I stupidly said that if we lost the first game at home it must be the hat, so I’ll get a new rugby hat :( I’m gonna miss that rugby hat.
I also had my birthday party on the 26th, my family came down from Stevenage, Caldicot and Swansea which was nice, and they’re all so funny and just so nice to spend time with. Maddy, Hannah, Maria and Pip came too. It was so nice seeing Maddy for the first time since May. I forgot how much I love her.
Maddy was my first ever best friend and she still is like a sister to me, she looks out for me so much and it’s lovely.
Overall the night was pretty good; I did have to clear up a pretty large amount of sick though with not many thank you’s which wasn’t very nice to be honest. Oh well, life goes on.
The day after I watched loads of stupid TV programmes, Wife Swap, LA Ink, Toddlers and Tiaras, Beauty and the Geek. Actually no, they’re all so good; I thoroughly enjoyed waddling around in a sleeping bag watching TV all day.
On the Tuesday, I saw my Grandparents and then took my mum out for dinner, so it was quite a nice day, it was nice to spend money on her and let her have whatever she wanted for a change. Then we went home and watched all the soaps and it was very enjoyable.
I’ve gotten into the soaps this summer, Wednesdays Saturdays and Sundays are very sad days.
Wednesday 29th August - HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
It was my 17th birthday, wahoo! This was also the day I saw and met Michael McIntyre. He was brilliant on stage, such a nice way to spend my birthday, and he was such a lovely man. He just seemed so genuine and was no different to how he is on stage, he just laughed at everything. Amazing bloke. Everyone should pre-order his DVD because it was brilliant, phaha.
Thursday my mum went on holiday with two of her friends to Tenerife, and I miss her like mad. I spend like all of my time with my mum/annoying my mum and this is the first time she’s left me at home by myself for longer than a few days, so it’s been a bit strange. I’ve got on so well with my sister though which has been super amazing.
I went for a meal on the Friday after working for millions of hours then and on the Thursday, so I was knackered, and very late and ugh. It was a good night though! We went to Frankie and Benny’s. We being me, Maria, Megan, Emily, Sophie and Hannah. It was nice to see them all and we had a pretty good time. It was a nice way to end my 5 days of birthday celebrations.
I worked Saturday and then Rugby against Newcastle - the game that decided the fate of my beloved hat was on the Sunday.
On the Saturday I also decided to write a couple of letters. One to Josh and one to Char.
I haven’t waffled on about Josh for a while…
I don’t think I wrote everything I needed to in his letter, I think I could have waffled on for a bit longer, he still thought it was amazing, but that isn’t the point.
We’ve drifted apart recently, and it’s really bugged me. We had a pretty long/weird/normal chat like we always usually would today, and whenever he reminds me I’m his best friend I want to cry because it makes me so so happy that I can mean a lot to someone. Especially to such a special and beautiful person, so I need to make sure that I don’t lose someone that special to me because of my own laziness.
I chose to write one to Char too because I feel I don’t tell enough how much she really does mean to me and sometimes feel I take her for granted because she does seriously do so much for me and always has. Even when I don’t ask her to be there for me she is, and she always supports everything I chose in my life. She deserves the best and all the happiness in the world, because she gives so much. She’s one of the people that I can fully trust to stick by me and not judge me or bitch about me.
Today I went to my Grandparents again - as usual. Such a nice way to end my summer, to spend my day with literally 2 of the best people ever. I say it so often but they literally are everything to me. Even just thinking about them it makes me smile and feel all warm and fuzzy.
And then tomorrow it’s back to normality - slightly…
I leave Abbeywood and go to college and because I want to carry on my science, my first lessons back of year 13 are at Abbeywood, and I’m really not looking forward to going back, like earlier in the week it didn’t bother me having to go to Abbeywood, starting a fresh at college did, but now I seriously don’t want to go because I’m remembering all the reasons I left.
Hopefully once I’ve started college too it might be alright.
My blogs might even be more regular now, hmmmm…
I’ve not blogged for 2 weeks! I’ve been busy… I think, I just don’t know what with, like I had to get my diary out to see what I’ve been doing since my last blog, which was on 23rd, and I’m now following 23 blogs, wahoo.
Well I’m gonna begin my waffling then.
I can’t remember what happened last Monday or Tuesday, at all.
I remember losing my capo, again.
I remember Wednesday, because I saw Johari play at the croft, and everyone was wearing shorts, and they were very good as usual.
I remember on the Thursday I had a yoghurt crisis, I got to my house and went to get my keys out and found them in my yoghurt and yoghurt everywhere, and it was stressful. Stupid yoghurt. This was after I was already angry because on a Thursday I can go home at like 12, but every other week I stay after school and run a humanities thing for some clever kiddies in years 7, 8 & 9. I do it with 2 other girls and one of them was gonna sort everything out for that week. She decided she wouldn’t tell me she’d cancel it because apparently there was “no point in letting me know” so I stayed at school for an unnecessary 3 hours longer than I had to. what made it worse was that I had no work to do because I had 2 hours free in the morning, so I was tired anyway, and bored, and then really pissed off on Thursday.
Friday was a better day, I had Rugby, and we broke up for Easter.
Me and Pip always drink a stupid amount when it’s a Friday night game, but they’re always funny, and we end up having deep chats when we’re drunk, and very intelligent conversations with Mummy Emsley, the stewards and Spanky, who never talks all that much sense anyway.
On Saturday I got an impressive bargain on a cardigan, £40 reduced to £15 in River Island, yay.
That weekend my mum had family down, they’re looney, and she brought some crazy woman into our home from somewhere - I don’t even know how she met her, that’s how much I didn’t pay an interest because I thought she was a psycho.
Sunday, Game of Thrones wasn’t back. Meaning my countdown has been wrong the whole bloody time. However, I stayed at Nikki’s Sunday, not sure if I’ve ever properly mentioned how much Nikki means to me before. She’s probably one of the only people that has never ever judged me because of an interest. She might think it, but she’s never shown or told me that she thinks I’m completely bonkers, or rolled her eyes at me and made stupid comments or anything. I love staying with her, because like she said when I was there, it’s nice being able to be with someone else, and have company and just not have to talk all the time, but also have a decent amount of clever, epiphany-filled conversation. She’s someone I have so much in common with, and can easy tell anything and know that it’ll go no further than that because she’s so trustworthy - or she’ll just smash her head on the front room table, get concussion and forget haha! But yeah, Nikki is the best, 97% of the time I wish I could move in with her.
That’s all for Monday.
Tuesday was a pretty busy day, I had an interview - that I haven’t heard back from, yet again. At T.G.I Friday’s. I don’t think it went well anyway because I’m shocking at role plays. I then went to my Gran’s and my niece has a serious problem with answering back, I really want to kick her sometimes, my nephew grinds my gears too, he’s just like his Dad, very rude and not very caring. He is only 5, but what does that say about his Dad?
I then, in the evening, once again saw Johari, with my friend Sophie, which was nice to spend time with her for the first time in a while, and once again really enjoyed their gig. I however found out that my favourite band had split up and spent alot of the night then trying not to cry.
Wednesday was uneventful, I got a bit of work done, and just played alot of guitar so was nice to have a break.
I helped my friend Pip with her Art coursework, she wanted some photos to work with that portrayed lonliness, and I was used as the guinea pig, but it all turned out really well, and Pip is really chuffed and hopefully she’ll get a big A at the end of the year for all her work.
In the evening I went to see my friend’s band Goodnight Lois play, and took my stepdad along this time. A few months ago I gave him their EP, and he’s become pretty obsessed with them, which is really cute. But he really enjoyed it yesterday and was really impressed by them, which was nice. They keep getting better and better.
I love watching my friend’s bands play, I feel so proud to know them, and they just get more and more amazing each time and put so much effort in to it and it’s just nice seeing their hard work pay off when they get gigs and stuff.
Today, I’ve made a cake. It’s my Auntie’s birthday soon, so we’re going up to Stevenage tomorrow to see her. Which should be nice.
So that’s my long blog done with.
I’m very happy at the moment.
Happy Easter, get fat.
So I just wrote a beast of a blog, and suddenly it vanished. Technology hates me. Hoping I’ve not forgotten to put anything important in this.
Anyway, well I’m new to all this tumblr stuff, I tried it once before, but I didn’t understand the point in it, I then gathered, you just waffle on for a while and hope that someone cares about what you’ve written?
If that’s the case, I’m going to waffle on about myself for a while then.
I’m Sarah, I’m 16 and I live in Bristol.
I’m short, I’m a whole 5’3. I have eyes that have been described as crazy green (my mum however thinks they’re very grey) and my hair is brown and curly wurly, and I have a ginge tinge in my fringe. I enjoy saying that because it rhymes. I like making things rhyme, it makes me feel clever.
I can be an awkward person, because of Grey’s Anatomy, I now describe myself as dark and twisty, because I feel this describes me well.
It’s not very often I feel clever, I believe I’m pretty dumb.
I play the guitar & the ukulele.
I like to paint. I’m not allowed to paint in the house cos my creativeness gets all over the house, so I paint my nails instead. I’ve always got something written or drawn on my nails, cos my talent gets me excited and makes me feel proud of myself, and I’ve never admitted it, but I like to show it off.
I have a massive obsession with anything and everything Noel Fielding. I have done for almost, about 7 years. I also have a huge love for Kurt Cobain, and I can’t seem to go a day without listening to Blink 182.
I love horses, I hope to one day own 3 horses, this won’t happen most likely, cos life is tough like that. I want 1 white horse - called Nibbles, based on a Barbie horse from when I was 3. One brown horse called Freckles - self explanatory. Then one black horse, called Vader, also self explanatory - Darth Vader.
I love reading. I counted my books the other day (another thing I’m proud of) I’ve got 86 books. Wahoo, this for me is an a achievement, my room is only small.
Game of Thrones is massive part of my life. As are things like Star Wars, Lord of the Rings and anything Jane Austen.
I want a baby girl, and I want to call her Khaleesi after Khaleesi Daenareys Targaryen (Game of Thrones) because in Dothraki, Khaleesi means Queen, and it just looks pretty.
I love Two and a Half Men, obviously with Charlie Sheen in. I also watch a lot of Lost, Life on Mars/Ashes to Ashes, Grey’s Anatomy, One Tree Hill, The Borgias, Gossip Girl, etc.
My Grandad is my best friend. I tell him everything. He’s full of knowledge and advice and speaks from experience, he’s an inspirational man. When he gets a cold I cry myself to sleep worrying, because I’m constantly worrying he’s going to die. I’m scared a life without him won’t be a good life.
I worry a lot.
Simple things please me.
As well as having painted nails, I always wear some kind of colourful eyeliner, because someone saying “ooh, your eyes look pretty” can make me stupidly happy.
Someone telling me I’m beautiful can as well, that’s the best, makes me all emotional.
I’m a very emotional person.
I like to think I’m a good friend, and very caring. I do however panic easily and think my friends don’t actually like me, so freak out and stop talking to them.
I find I get replaced easily.
However, at the moment this actually seems to be the case, some of my friends have found someone better and I’ve been forgotten about.
I no longer get invited out much.
I do often go of on crazy rants about anything any everything, I’ve been told they’re funny. I get told quite often I’m a really funny person, that makes me happy also.
I have a hat face.
I wear glasses.
One day I hope to be a History teacher, but let’s see what happens with that, I’m not good at giving the right answers when it counts the most.
I never feel that I’m good enough to go out and be who I want to be and do what I want to do.
I don’t like change, even if it’s for the best, if I’m satisfied, I don’t like change.
I love Egypt. I went to the pyramids in 2010, best day ever, followed by the safari we did April 2011 in Mombasa, Africa.
I enjoy drinking alcohol, but I’m always texting that same person telling them I love them.
I feel this is a good time to mention the people that have made me who I am, I’ve mentioned my grandad, who is the one person that helps me function daily, other than Maria, Maria understands how to deal with my weirdness. Her little nuggets of funny make me so so happy everyday. Just seeing her smiley face can cheer me up.
I’ve recently been calling this girl my person, Char. She’s my person. She’s always been there, even when argued and hated each other she’s been there, when things go bad she’s the one I want there, when things go well, she’s most likely the person who’s always there with me, she’s never judged me for being who I am. Being friends with Char, I feel appreciated and special.
I don’t know how I’d get through most things without Pippa, I would write Philippa, but she doesn’t like that, but I always call you that do don’t be complaining if you see this. Anyway, she’s one of the few people I know that are so strong. I can always count on her to listen to anything I need to say, for her to always be there, for her to always say the right thing, for her to take me in when I need someone. She’s one of the most stable things in my life, I can’t imagine life without her. She can make me smile all the time.
My mum, I can think of any words to describe her. I have the best relationship with her and I’d be lost without her, but who wouldn’t be lost without their muma?
My sister B, she inspires me everyday to do what makes me happy and not regret it. She makes me believe even when everything has gone wrong, that everything will be okay. She is constantly reminding me that I can do whatever I want with my life, and that I’m better than I think I am. Without her I wouldn’t have experienced some of the things I have. Without her, I’d be a heartless and lonely person, nothing like I am now.
And lastly, Alex. He’s a person I’ve become really close to in recent months, and now it’s weird to think that in July I didn’t talk to him everyday. A day that I haven’t spoken to him, is a very odd day. I can trust him to always be honest with me about anything, and if I tell him something, I can trust him to give me good advice or a good opinion in something, or to just keep what I’ve told him to himself. He’s a pretty cool guy and I just wish he was nearer more often. Oh, and he laughs at my jokes.
I go out by myself more than I do with people, I enjoy my own company, but then start to go crazy after a while.
I’m an Auntie to many children. I love being an Auntie. Having a niece or nephew say to you “Auntie Sarah, I love you” is the best feeling ever.
I hope that one day I’ll inspire someone to do something. I don’t know who or what, but I hope one day that happens.
I hope one day I wake up with an amazing singing voice. Then I’ll get my music out there. All I want is to have people hear me play guitar. My guitar deserves the fame.
I name objects. For example, my guitars are called Kate and Julicas (Julian/Lucas) my capo was called Brooke, but I lost it, r.i.p Brooke.
I eat a lot of mints, they’re tasty.
I could spend all day in bed and not get bored, when it comes down to it, I’m pretty lazy (I’m in bed right now).
I’m scared of the sea. When I was 11 I got ran over by a boat in Mallorca.
I’m scared of fish eating my toes.
I love Rod Stewart. If you get a chance, go see him live.
I find it hard to remove people from my life completely. I don’t like people thinking bad of me.
I hope I die in my sleep. I’m not good with pain, other than piercings. I love that pain.
Most of the time I chat utter rubbish. Like now for example, I might wrap this up. Quit while I’m ahead and all that.
I feel this is a very sudden end.
Follow me on twitter @saraaahlc
Oh, I’m also a Rugby girl.